Quick Answer: The best preschool for your child has qualified teachers who stay year after year, appropriate class sizes, and a philosophy that matches your family’s values. Tour during operating hours so you see real classrooms, not empty ones. Watch how teachers interact with children—warmth and engagement matter more than fancy facilities. Ask about teacher turnover (high turnover is a red flag). And trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
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Why Choosing a Preschool Feels So Hard
You’re about to hand your child over to people you barely know, in a place you’ve visited maybe twice, and trust that they’ll nurture your child’s development during some of the most formative years of their life. Of course this decision feels overwhelming.
The anxiety is compounded by conflicting advice. One friend swears by Montessori while another thinks academic preschools better prepare kids for kindergarten. Articles online warn you about choosing wrong while simultaneously pushing you to relax because “it’s just preschool.” Your mother-in-law has opinions. Everyone has opinions.
Here’s what actually matters: your child needs to be safe, cared for by warm and competent adults, and given opportunities to play, learn, and socialize. That can happen in a fancy facility or a church basement. It can happen in a play-based program or an academic one. What matters isn’t the label or the philosophy—it’s the execution.
The good preschool near you might not look like the good preschool near your sister. Ignore the pressure to find the “perfect” school and instead focus on finding a good fit for your specific child and family.
When to Start Looking
The timeline for preschool enrollment catches many parents off guard. Popular programs can have waitlists that stretch back a year or more. Some begin accepting applications twelve to eighteen months before the start date.
This doesn’t mean you need to be choosing preschools before your child is out of diapers. Many excellent programs have more reasonable timelines. But starting your research early gives you options.
About a year before you want your child to start, begin gathering information. Ask neighbors and friends with young children about their experiences. Look up what programs exist in your area. Get a sense of what’s available and what the timelines look like.
Nine to twelve months out, start scheduling tours. This is when you’ll actually visit schools, observe classrooms, and get a feel for different environments. You want enough time to visit several options without rushing.
Six to nine months before enrollment, submit applications and make your decision. Some schools require interviews or assessments, and timing varies. Having a couple of months to wait for acceptances and make a thoughtful choice prevents last-minute panic.
If you’re reading this and enrollment is in two months, don’t despair. Good programs sometimes have unexpected openings. Being flexible about start dates can open up options. The timeline above is ideal, not required.
Understanding Different Preschool Philosophies
Preschools organize themselves around different educational philosophies. Understanding these helps you think about what you’re looking for—though in practice, execution matters more than philosophy.
Play-based programs believe children learn best through exploration and child-led activity. These classrooms look less structured, with children moving freely between activity areas, choosing what they want to do, and learning through hands-on experience. Teachers facilitate rather than instruct directly. Social-emotional development gets as much attention as academic skills. Play-based programs work particularly well for children who thrive with freedom and creativity and struggle with rigid structure.
Academic-focused programs prioritize preparing children for kindergarten through more direct instruction. These classrooms are more structured, with designated times for letters, numbers, and reading readiness. Teachers lead more group activities and explicitly teach pre-academic skills. Academic programs can be good fits for children who do well with routine and clear expectations, though the research suggests play-based approaches lead to equivalent academic outcomes with potentially better social-emotional development.
Montessori follows a specific methodology developed by Maria Montessori over a century ago. Classrooms are multi-age (usually spanning three years), children choose their own work from specially designed materials, and teachers guide rather than lead. Montessori emphasizes independence and self-directed learning. True Montessori programs require specifically trained teachers—be cautious of programs using the name without the methodology.
Reggio Emilia originated in Italy and emphasizes project-based learning following children’s interests. Art and documentation play central roles. The environment is considered “the third teacher”—classrooms are thoughtfully designed to provoke curiosity. Reggio approaches work well for creative, curious children who enjoy going deep into topics.
Waldorf programs focus on imagination, nature, and rhythm. Natural materials dominate; technology is absent. Arts and outdoor play are integrated throughout. Early academics are de-emphasized in favor of creative play. Waldorf suits families who value nature, creativity, and want their child in a screen-free environment.
Religious or faith-based programs incorporate spiritual teaching alongside early childhood education. The balance between religious content and general preschool education varies widely. These programs often cost less than secular options and can provide community connection for families who share the faith tradition.
Don’t get too caught up in philosophy labels. A mediocre Montessori program isn’t better than an excellent play-based program. A warm, engaged teacher in an academic classroom provides better care than a cold, distracted teacher in a Reggio school. Focus on quality, not category.
What Actually Matters in Any Preschool
Regardless of philosophy, certain factors predict preschool quality. Research on early childhood education points consistently to the same elements.
Teacher quality is the most important factor. Study after study shows that the single best predictor of preschool outcomes is the quality of teacher-child interactions. Warm, responsive, engaging teachers create environments where children thrive. Burned-out, distracted, or harsh teachers don’t—regardless of how beautiful the facility or how prestigious the philosophy.
When evaluating teachers, look for warmth and genuine engagement with children. Watch whether teachers get down to child level, whether they speak respectfully, whether they seem to enjoy their work. Notice how they handle misbehavior—with patience and redirection, or with frustration and harshness.
Teacher turnover tells you a lot about a school’s internal health. High turnover means teachers are leaving, which typically indicates poor working conditions, inadequate pay, bad management, or some combination. When you ask about turnover and get vague answers or obvious discomfort, that’s a red flag. When teachers have been at a school for years—five, ten, fifteen years—that’s a strong positive sign.
Class size and adult-to-child ratios affect how much individual attention children receive. Industry standards (from NAEYC, the main accrediting body) recommend ratios of about one adult per six to eight children for three-year-olds, and one per eight to ten for four-year-olds. Smaller is generally better, though a skilled teacher with twelve children can provide better care than an overwhelmed teacher with eight.
Communication between school and family matters for your peace of mind and your ability to support your child’s development. How will you know what happened during the day? How quickly do they respond to concerns? Can you observe your child during school hours? Schools that communicate openly and welcome parent involvement typically run better than those that keep families at arm’s length.
Basic health and safety should be non-negotiable. Clean facilities, secure entry procedures, appropriate supervision, safe playground equipment—these fundamentals must be in place. Trust your eyes during tours. If something looks unsafe or unsanitary, it probably is.
How to Tour a Preschool Effectively
A preschool tour is your best opportunity to evaluate a school. Make it count.
Schedule your visit during operating hours when children are present. A tour of empty classrooms tells you nothing about the actual environment. You need to see how teachers interact with children, how children behave, what the energy feels like when school is in session. If a school won’t accommodate an operating-hours tour, consider that a yellow flag.
Observe more than you ask. Questions are valuable (we’ll get to those), but what you see matters more than what administrators tell you. Watch the teachers: Do they seem engaged and warm, or stressed and checked out? Watch the children: Do they seem happy and comfortable, or anxious and bored? Watch the interactions: How are conflicts handled? How are transitions managed?
Notice the environment. Is it clean and well-maintained? Are materials accessible to children, or locked away? Is there space for active play and quiet activities both? Look at the artwork on the walls—is it clearly child-created (messy, varied, imperfect) or obviously adult-directed (identical projects in a row)?
Pay attention to how you feel. Does the environment feel warm and welcoming? Do the staff seem happy to be there? Can you imagine your child in this space? Your gut reaction matters. Parents often sense things they can’t articulate.
Take notes right after you leave, while details are fresh. After visiting several schools, they start to blur together. Recording your impressions immediately helps you remember what made each place distinctive.
Questions Worth Asking
While observation matters most, thoughtful questions can reveal important information.
Ask about teacher qualifications and how long current staff have been at the school. You want to know whether teachers have training in early childhood education and whether they stick around. Vague or defensive responses about turnover are concerning.
Ask what a typical day looks like. This tells you about the balance between structured activity and free play, how transitions are handled, how much time is spent outside. There’s no single right answer, but the description should match what you’re looking for.
Ask how they handle discipline. You want to hear about positive guidance, redirection, and helping children develop self-regulation—not time-outs, punitive approaches, or shaming. How misbehavior is handled tells you a lot about how children are treated overall.
Ask how they communicate with parents. Daily reports, weekly emails, apps, posted activities—different methods work for different families. The important thing is that communication exists and flows both ways.
Ask about transitions—how they help new children adjust, how they prepare children leaving for kindergarten. Good programs think about these transition periods and have approaches that support children through change.
Ask whatever else matters to you. Potty training policies, nap routines, snack philosophies, illness policies—if something will affect your daily life, ask about it directly.
Red Flags That Should Give You Pause
Certain observations warrant serious concern.
Teachers who seem unhappy, stressed, or disengaged signal an environment where children won’t receive the warmth and attention they need. If teachers don’t want to be there, something is wrong with how the school is run.
High teacher turnover—when staff leave frequently and no one has been there long—indicates systemic problems. Teachers leave bad jobs. Consistent departures mean this is a bad job.
Resistance to observation or unannounced visits suggests the school has something to hide. Good programs welcome parent involvement and have nothing to conceal.
Poor communication—slow responses, vague answers, defensiveness about questions—predicts frustration and conflict down the road.
Children who seem unhappy, anxious, or bored during your visit may be showing you the truth about daily life there. Happy, engaged children are the best advertisement for a program.
Obvious safety issues—broken equipment, inadequate supervision, unlocked entry points—are immediate disqualifiers. If they’re not managing basic safety, they’re not managing anything well.
Trust what you observe. Schools put their best foot forward during tours. If problems are visible during a tour, they’re probably worse on regular days.
Making the Decision
After tours and research, making the final choice requires weighing multiple factors.
Consider practical constraints first. Location matters—you’ll be doing drop-off and pickup for years. Hours need to match your schedule. Cost needs to fit your budget. Availability might limit options if waitlists are long. There’s no point falling in love with a school that doesn’t work logistically.
Within practical constraints, consider fit. Does the philosophy match your values? Does the environment suit your child’s temperament? Will your child thrive with this level of structure (or lack of it)? Can you imagine a productive partnership with this school?
If your child is old enough (typically three and up), their reaction to visits matters. Did they seem comfortable or anxious? Were they drawn to the materials and spaces? Obviously you can’t let a three-year-old make the decision, but their instinctive response provides useful data.
Trust your gut. After all the research and observation, you’ll probably have a feeling about which school is right. That feeling synthesizes information your conscious mind can’t fully articulate. Listen to it.
And remember: this decision is important but not permanent. If you choose a school that turns out to be wrong, you can change. Children are resilient and adapt to new environments. A bad preschool choice isn’t a life sentence.
What If It’s Not Working?
Sometimes the school you chose doesn’t work out. That’s okay.
Signs that a preschool isn’t working include persistent unhappiness (beyond normal adjustment), concerning observations about how children are treated, communication breakdowns that don’t improve, or your child consistently dreading school after the adjustment period should have ended.
If you notice problems, address them directly with teachers and administrators first. Give them a chance to respond and improve. Document concerns. Be specific about what you’re observing and what you need to see change.
If problems persist despite conversation, start looking at alternatives. Switching schools mid-year is harder but sometimes necessary. Your child’s wellbeing matters more than continuity.
Children adjust to new schools more easily than parents expect. A transition period of a few weeks is normal. What matters is finding an environment where your child can thrive.
Frequently Asked Questions
At what age should my child start preschool?
Most children are developmentally ready for preschool sometime between ages two-and-a-half and four. Signs of readiness include basic communication skills, some ability to separate from parents, interest in other children, and beginning toilet training progress. There’s no single right age—it depends on your child’s development and your family’s needs.
Is accreditation important?
NAEYC accreditation indicates a program has met rigorous quality standards. It’s a positive sign but not essential—many excellent programs aren’t accredited (the process is voluntary and resource-intensive). Use accreditation as one data point among many, not a deciding factor.
How important is proximity to home?
Pretty important in practice. You’ll be doing drop-off and pickup daily, possibly for years. A slightly better school twenty minutes away might not be worth the daily commute stress. Factor location heavily into your decision, especially if you have inflexible work schedules.
What if I can’t afford the preschools I like?
Look into financial aid and scholarships—many schools offer them and don’t advertise widely. Explore state-funded pre-K programs, which are free or low-cost in many states. Consider Head Start programs for income-qualifying families. Cooperative preschools offer reduced tuition in exchange for parent volunteer time. Licensed home-based programs often cost less than center-based care.
Do I need to send my child to preschool at all?
Preschool isn’t mandatory, and children who don’t attend can do fine with rich learning experiences at home. Quality preschool does improve kindergarten readiness and social skills, but it’s not the only path to those outcomes. The decision depends on your family circumstances, your child’s needs, and your available options.
Should both siblings attend the same school?
Often practical and can ease transitions, but not always right. Each child is different. If one child would clearly thrive in a different environment, don’t force uniformity. Logistics matter too—if the schools have conflicting schedules, same-school simplicity has real value.
Finding the Right Fit
There is no single “best” preschool. There’s only the preschool that’s best for your particular child and family. A school that works perfectly for your neighbor might be wrong for you. A prestigious program might not match your child’s temperament. A humble program might be exactly what you need.
Focus on fundamentals: warm, qualified teachers who stay year after year; safe, stimulating environment; philosophy that matches your values; practical logistics that work for your life.
Visit multiple schools. Observe more than you ask. Trust your gut. And remember that this decision, while important, isn’t irreversible. You’re looking for a good fit, not making a lifelong commitment.
For more on supporting your child’s development, explore our guides on language development for preschoolers, early literacy activities, and toddler development. And for learning activities designed specifically for preschoolers, check out the Kokotree app.
